What does abundance mean to you? Do you even think about it?
I have run into countless people in therapy and outside of it who, when it gets down to why they are unhappy, it is because they do not feel deserving. Sometimes they are scared, sometimes they are depressed with guilt and negative self-talk, and sometimes they simply think that those who came before them did not have, so how could they.
It is valuable to look underneath at what you are telling yourself because if you are telling yourself that you are not good enough and not deserving, then that is who you are. This means that you cannot live the life that you really, truly desire – ever (unless, of course, you change what you tell yourself). If you don’t feel deserving of a life that you love, then you will continuously do what you think others want or expect from you as you chase the feeling of being deserving.
It has to come from you, though. You must learn that you are valuable just because you exist. That means that no matter how much you please or don’t please someone else. No matter how much you do or don’t do. No matter how much someone tells you directly or indirectly that you are not deserving, and so on……it does not matter. No one can take away your intrinsic value.
Once you challenge yourself on your own worthiness and address the underlying obstacles to your acceptance of it, then you are free to figure out what kind of life you really want and live it.
The following are some steps to awareness and change (AKA Cognitive Thought Replacement):
1. Become keenly aware of what you say to yourself.
2. Notice how thoughts make you feel (notice that it is what you say to yourself that makes you feel a certain way).
3. Find the evidence that what you said to yourself is 100% true.
4. If it is not 100% true, then replace the thought/self-talk with a more rational and realistic statement.
5. Keep doing the above four steps until you feel how you want to feel!
I challenge you to create and live your best life ever!
If you would like more one-on-one support and you are interested in working with Rachael Stracka, LCSW, please visit the Services menu for more information.