People have asked me to further discuss the 5 Strategies to Create and Live Your Best Life (Sign up here for your own copy). It is human nature to want to feel “good.” No one wants to feel “bad.” Read on for how to “feel good” during those challenging times.
Here I will explore the first Strategy – No matter how bad it is, it is happening for a reason for you.
Just knowing that the feelings you are having and the events that have happened or are occurring are happening for a reason can be extremely grounding and calming. No, this does not mean that you necessarily did or did not do something to deserve it, but rather that there is reason in it now. “Reason” is always available to you. That is, you have a terrific opportunity (although chances are that it will not immediately seem so “terrific”) to see and experience things differently. It is a chance for you to grow in ways you could never grow if not faced with this circumstance. And when you grow, you naturally become closer to peace, comfort, and light.
To give you a real – life example, I think back recently to a time when I was working with several clients headed into a holiday season for the first time since the loss of a loved one. Each one, of course, had his or her own personality, coping style, relationship history, etc. I worked with each individual at his or her own pace in the weeks leading up to the big “holiday.”
What I noticed was that the people who decided that even though they did not understand or like it, for some reason their loved one was not with them now. And, instead of avoiding anything and everything to do with the holidays so as not to feel uncomfortable, they decided to embrace (with support!) any thoughts, feelings, or reminders that came their way. Instead of spending energy on dodging people, places, and things, they trusted that the situation was here for a reason and that they were feeling this way for a reason. They also realized that the awful feelings would not stay forever.
It was these people who returned after the holiday to say that not only did they “get through” the holidays, but, they felt “good” in ways they never thought possible. They saw things in new ways, felt things in new ways, and in the end felt closer to their loved ones (both present with them and not).
No matter how bad it is, it is happening for a reason for you. Each individual was able to feel some peace and comfort during a time of extreme grief. This is growth. This is healing. And this is living!
If you or you together with your partner would like more one-on-one support or couples counseling, and you are interested in working with Rachael Stracka, LCSW, please visit the Services menu for more information.